I need to tell you something
by mid-morning rain
Summary: Kurt needed to tell someone. He needed to tell Blaine, but he couldn't. Telling him would just make Blaine blame himself. And Kurt would not hurt Blaine. He just couldn't.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys so I came up with this story When I watched "First time" This story is sort of a parallel to it, but in no way am I telling you that this is what happened in the cannon. **

***I do not own Glee. If I did I would be singing it.***

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><p>Kurt needed to tell someone. He needed to tell Blaine, but he couldn't. Telling him would just make Blaine blame himself. And Kurt would not hurt Blaine. He just couldn't<p>

The day after Their tiff in the Gay bar parking lot Blaine woke up at home already feeling horribly hung-over. He looked at his cell phone and noticed Kurt hadn't said good morning. Remembering what he said to Kurt only made things worse. He felt he had a lump in his throat and he couldn't get it down. "How could I call being rude and being sloppy ,_Spontaneous_?" Blaine cursed silently at himself. What a morning. The play's opening night was tonight, he felt awful, and he hurt Kurt's feelings. Blaine forced himself out of bed and drug his aching head to the shower. The cold water soon cleared up the hangover and since singing in the shower usually made him feel better, he decided to give it a shot. It couldn't hurt.

"I hate where I'm at, acting crazy like that. I know that I've been wrong. It's something I've been working on. And I don't know what to do, It's changing me it's killing you. I'd tear out my insides if I could, but I don't know if it'd do me good."

Blaine paused, the lump was starting to make him choke up. He was wrong singing could hurt. He turned off the shower. "I have to apologize to Kurt, but I wouldn't talk to me if I were him, so why should he?" (Jealousy by Darren Criss)

Kurt hadn't slept since he'd gotten home last night. He had some things that needed to be sorted out. First off what he was going to wear today. Compared to last night's events, his fashion choice may have seemed inconsequential to some, but Kurt had his reasons. First, he had to cover some fresh bruises. Second, he didn't want anyone to think something was wrong with him, especially Blaine. He finally decided on a charcoal boyfriend sweater and a nice pair of skinny jeans. He had a button-up shirt on underneath the sweater to cover his neck, and he finished the look with a bowtie. "Ironically one of my better looks." Kurt laughed morbidly. "Hey are you ready yet?" Fin was calling from downstairs. He had been in a rather sour mood lately due to his fight with Rachel. Kurt wasn't that pleased with Fin either because he had been acting quite rude towards Blaine lately. " Yeah coming." Kurt rushed down stairs to meet Fin's grumpy face. "Come on lets hurry I wana get to football practice early today. That recruiter's coming down." "Yeah Fin I know. It's all you've talked about for weeks." Fin glared at him as Kurt drug his feet on the way to the car. Kurt was not looking forward to school today. He wasn't even looking forward to Glee Club. Going to Glee Club meant he had to pretend to be alright around all of his friends, and Blaine. Not that he wasn't accustomed to pretending to be alright. After all he had been bullied his entire life. It's just that… he hated lying. He felt people responded better to honesty.

The car ride was unusually silent, but Fin didn't notice. He was too busy worrying about the recruiter. Fin pulled up to the high school and quickly shooed Kurt from the car so he could rush to the locker room. Kurt was walking hesitantly to his first class when Mr. Schue tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?" Kurt nodded. "Well, if you want to talk to Emma instead of coming to class today I understand." That was the moment Kurt had an epiphany, no one expected him to be alright in a school that picked on him, so he could act depressed without anyone knowing the real reason for his sour disposition. "Yeah thanks Mr. Schue, I think I'll do that."

But when class rolled around, Kurt didn't go talk with Emma. He went to the auditorium to practice his number for the musical. It was opening night, and no matter what if Kurt wanted to get into NYADA he had to be perfect. He turned on the lights and set the stage. When the song began he went to another world far from recent events and all his troubles. He got every dance move, every word, and every note perfect. He was thrilled. It was a small brightener to his cloudy day. Kurt was amused when he automatically wanted to break out in a lovely rendition of "Tomorrow" from "Annie."

The fair-skinned boy's instant of happiness was unfortunately cut short by the ringing of a school bell.

"Where's Kurt?" a very panic-stricken Artie looked at Blaine. "Mr. Schue said he was talking to Emma." Blaine hoped it wasn't bullies again. Kurt always seemed so prone to cruelty. "Thank goodness! There's no way we could replace him for the show tonight." Artie happily took his place by the rest of the glee club. "Speaking of opening night, Mr. Schue is it alright if I go practice?" "Sure Blaine. The auditorium's unlocked, just let yourself in."

Blaine walked down the empty silent hallways. The coolness of the reflective tile floor and the lockers felt so cold next to the warmth of Dalton's carpet and stairways. Everything here felt so cold and uninviting, except the glee club, well most of it anyway. And although Dalton was comfortable, the warmest thing in Blaine's life was Kurt. He was just kind hearted towards everyone. Even when Karofsky stole his first kiss and then chased him out of school Kurt didn't out him. Kurt may have been crazy and jealous sometimes, but he always meant well and Blaine loved him for it.

When Blaine reached the auditorium he heard, what was unmistakably, Kurt's voice inside. Blaine crept into to the dark auditorium silently and took an isle seat in the back row. Kurt was practicing his solo for Westside Story. Again, Kurt's passion while he sang was just...amazing.

Blaine watched as Kurt stood silently on stage. The look on his face was a cross between amusement and confusion. The bell rang and Kurt's shoulders fell as he turned the spotlight off and stage lights back on. Blaine wanted to apologize and tell Kurt how wonderful he was going to be in the show tonight, but he was sure that he was the last person Kurt wanted to see right now. Blaine may have been right in his assumptions…but not for the reasons he thought.

Kurt arrived at the auditorium for opening night even earlier than Rachel. He had to play it safe, so no one would see him changing. When he entered the dressing room he locked the door, better safe then sorry. He stripped of his sweater and looked in the mirror. Bruises covered his arms and neck, and his wrists were back and purple. Kurt was almost in tears. He prided himself on taking great care of his skin, and now he was just hideous. He sniffled and someone knocked on the door. "Hey Kurt you in there?" Thank god it was just Artie. " Yeah I'll be out in a second." Kurt infused all the enthusiasm he could manage into his voice. Kurt looked back in the mirror. He wouldn't cry over this. He had been tossed into dumpsters, teased, harassed, and hurt. He would not let this be the thing to break him, no one could break him, but himself.

When Blaine arrived for the play he was nervous. Not only about proving himself as an actor, but about seeing Kurt. Surely Kurt was angry with him, he looked so depressed today on stage after he sang. Speaking of Kurt where was he. Blaine didn't want to upset him by hunting him down so he asked Artie to find him. "He's probably in the dressing room." Blaine tried to open the door, but it was locked. Blaine got worried. "Artie can you check on him?" Artie rolled his eyes and knocked on the dressing room door. "Hey Kurt you in there?" " Yeah I'll be out in a second." Kurt sounded upset. Artie shrugged apologetically at Blaine and went to get ready for the show. Blaine sighed and went to take his place by Rachel.

Kurt changed and was genuinely happy when the play was over. Happy and nervous. Rachel did an amazing job, really he never doubted her, and Blaine had a certain emotional air about him tonight. Kurt was not going to hide any more, he had to talk to Blaine sooner or later. After everyone headed off to Breadsticks for Artie's opening night after party Kurt stayed. Blaine was still on stage trying to get a dance move right.

"Shouldn't you be celebrating?" Kurt asked Blaine. Blaine turned to see Kurt standing in the wings. "I'm just working on this dance move. I messed it up tonight, and I know I can do better." Kurt was slightly amused that he detected a note of embarrassment in the boy's tone. "The beauty of the stage, you get to do it all over again tomorrow night." Kurt sighed. "Personally I thought both of you guys were perfect." Blaine's face went red. "Thank you. Your officer Krupke killed, it brought the house down." Now it was Kurt's turn to be embarrassed. Blaine was so adorable. "Well, I can't help but pull focus sorry." Blaine beamed at Kurt. "Don't apologize it was great." The two stared at each other for a moment and Kurt's smile faded.

He had seen every Warbler he had ever met attend the show. And unfortunately that included Sebastian. "All your friends were here tonight…the Warblers…Sebastian, they were all loving it." Kurt couldn't keep all of his bitterness out of his tone. He couldn't help but be a tad jealous of Sebastian.

Blaine noticed Kurt was upset. All of this mess because he's jealous of Sebastian, and I don't even find him attractive. "Come here." Blaine smiled and Kurt stood beside him. " Give me your hand." Blaine took Kurt's hand and held it to Kurt's chest. "Hold it to your heart." "Just like the song?" Kurt smiled sarcastically. Blaine could be so cheesy some times, but Kurt was a hopeless romantic and those eyes…"Like the song." Blaine beamed at Kurt. "Kurt, Sebastian doesn't mean anything to me. And you were right, our first time shouldn't be like that. I was drunk and I'm sorry." Kurt Smiled. "Well it sure beats the last time you were drunk and made out with Rachel." They both started laughing and Blaine shook his head at the memory of his Rachel incident. " But I'm sorry too. I wanted to be your gay-bar-super-star but try as I might I'm still just a silly romantic." Kurt sighed. "It's not silly." Blaine kissed him sweetly and then Kurt pulled him in closer. "You take my breath away. And not just now, tonight on that stage I was so proud to be with you. " Blaine felt the lump in his throat making a comeback. "I hope so. I want you to be." Blaine always wanted Kurt to be proud to be with him like Blaine was to be with someone as amazing as Kurt. " Um, Artie's having an after party at breadsticks would you accompany me?" Kurt took a deep breath. "No. I wana go to your house." It took Blaine a second to register what Kurt was saying. He wants to…"Okay."

On the car ride home they were both silent. It was a big step for both of them. Blaine wanted to just take Kurt in his arms and kiss him right there, he was so perfect. Everything that Blaine could ever hope for and more was sitting adorably right beside him. Blaine smiled contently and placed a kiss on Kurt's cheek. Kurt blushed and started humming to the song on the radio. Kurt was so happy. Everything was so perfect, even the song on the radio. Kurt started humming along to the words.

"Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight. I need help believing your with me tonight. My wildest dreamings could not foresee lying beside you, with you wanting me. Just for this moment as long as you're mine. I've lost all resistance and crossed some boarder line, and if it turns out it's over to fast I'll make every last moment last. As long as you're mine." (As Long As You're Mine from Wicked)

When the song was over Kurt thought about last night. Then it hit him now he'd have to tell Blaine. It's not like he could hide the bruises when they were planning on… Kurt turned off the radio as they pulled into the driveway. "Blaine, before we do this, There's something I need to tell you."

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><p><strong>AN: Hey guys Chapter two will be up soon. Sorry for the abruptness in the story. I don't know how to fix it. I would really love some feedback. Anything helps. Thanks for reading. Yours truly -Rain**

**PS. I do not own the two songs mentioned in the story. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who story alerted, reviewed, favorite, or even just read this story. Sorry about the cliff hanger I know you guys don't like them, but I find it builds suspense. **

**WARNING: This chapter contains cursing and slight violence. If these bother you please refrain from reading. **

**I do not own Glee. If I did I would be singing on it.**

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><p>"There's something I need to tell you." Blaine was concerned. Kurt was normally pale, but at the moment he looked so white he was practically see through. Blaine couldn't help but notice that Kurt's face held the same frightened look that it had when Kurt had told Blaine about Karofsky kissing him. "What happened." Blaine's voiced was heavily laced with concern. It made Kurt sick to his stomach. How was he supposed to tell Blaine? There is absolutely no way Blaine wouldn't blame himself. There was silence. "You know you can tell me anything." "I- well- so last night-I." Kurt started crying. Blaine pulled him into a hug.<p>

"It's going to be alright." "No! It's not alright. I don't want you to blame yourself or…look at me like...I just." Blaine backed up and stared into Kurt's eyes. "Kurt please tell me what happened." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand and stared into those lovely hazel eyes. The countertenor closed his eyes and took an breathed deeply. Now or never.

Last night after their fight, Kurt went back into the bar. " I never should have let you walk home." Kurt was so worried that Blaine would get hurt, or come back to the bar looking for him and he wouldn't be there, so he stayed. Kurt found Karofsky and talked to him for a while about how his new school was and if he'd met anyone. After an a half hour or so Kurt decided Blaine had probably gotten home fine, and He should probably start heading home before his father woke up. He would have said goodbye to Dave, but he seemed to be hitting it off with a guy, so Kurt just left.

When Kurt walked outside the parking lot seemed to have gotten a lot darker than the last time he'd seen it. He took a deep breath and started scanning the parking lot for his car. "Hey." Kurt turned to see guy about his age who was quite obviously drunk leaning against a wall. He'd had enough of drunk teenage boys tonight. Kurt turned back around and started walking to his car.

Suddenly he felt a tight grip around his wrist. "Hey, I was talking to you!" The boy from the wall was glaring at him. Kurt tried to pull away, but the boy had too good of a grip on him. Kurt went pale. "What do you want?" Kurt tried to sound intimidating, but it came out as more of a squeak. Curse his high-pitched nervous voice. The boy pushed Kurt up against the wall he was previously leaning on. "I want you princess, and I always get what I want one way or another." Kurt shuddered as his captor's breath tickled his ear. "Leave me alone." Kurt tried to pull away, but the boy was stronger. "Awe you're so cute. It's a shame you're not more well trained." Kurt was terrified. How could this happen? This could not be happening not now. Kurt's breath caught as the boy pushed Kurt's wrists harder into wall and started kissing Kurt's neck. He thought he was going to be sick. As the boy pushed Kurt even harder up against the wall, it set off Kurt's car alarm because Kurt's keys hit the wall.

The boy backed up slightly and looked around for a second giving Kurt the opportunity to kick him as hard as he could and run. Kurt was almost to his car when he was tackled to the ground. "You little shit. That really hurt." Wall boy closed his hands on Kurt's throat. Kurt struggled violently for air. His vision started to blur. He wished he were stronger. The boy let go of Kurt's throat a resumed pinning him down by his arms. Kurt started coughing and gasped for air. "Now where were we?" Smirking the boy slid his hand up Kurt's shirt. Kurt closed his eyes and a tear streamed down his cheek. He couldn't look at the boy's face. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing how much this hurt him.

He felt the boy's weight leaving him suddenly. Kurt opened his eyes to see Dave Karofsky beating the life out of his attacker. The boy had a black eye and his nose was bleeding rapidly when he managed to escape and run away. Karofsky ran over to Kurt. "Oh my god Kurt! Are you ok." Kurt managed to shake his head no and sit up before vomiting in the Parking lot. Dave helped him up and took him to his car. "Kurt are you going to be alright driving home?" Kurt faked a smile. "Yeah I'm fine I just want to go home and sleep." Dave wasn't buying it, but he couldn't really do argue with Kurt so he let him go. Kurt opened his car door and turned to Karofsky. "Thanks for um-" "You don't have to thank me. I really owe you Kurt, and I don't want to see you get hurt anymore."

Kurt smiled and drove home without turning music on. Music just didn't seem appropriate, and he needed to clear his head. When he got home he snuck in the house desperately hoping his father wouldn't wake up. There was no way he could explain this. He shut the door behind him and slid down to the floor. Violent Sobs wracked his body as he pulled out his phone. He dialed Blaine's number, then hung up. Blaine would blame himself. Kurt knew that. He hated how Blaine looked at him after fight's, his eyes so filled with pain and guilt. He wouldn't hurt Blaine if he could help it. So Blaine couldn't know about this.

Kurt looked up at Blaine for the first time since he started telling him the story. Blaine was staring at Kurt wide-eyed and crying. What could he say. His poor Beautiful Kurt couldn't call him when he was hurt to help. Blaine wasn't there for Kurt when he needed him. "Kurt I-I'm s-so sorry." Kurt sighed and pulled Blaine into a kiss. "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. The only person at fault is that drunk douche bag who did this to me. I just need you to understand. It's not your fault Blaine." Kurt pleaded with Blaine who was still crying. "Call me." Blaine choked out. "What?" Blaine looked up at Kurt. "Next time your hurt no matter what call me. I don't want you to ever have to be alone ever again." Kurt smiled and wiped away his boyfriend's tears. "Okay."

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><p><strong>AN: So hope you liked it. The next chapter will be the last one to this story and then I'll be writing a new one. I promise the next story will be more upbeat and fluffy. Sorry if you hated it, but hey I can't please everyone. Review and thanks for reading. **

**-Rain**


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